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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28595607">Tea and Biscuits</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohdearisshedead/pseuds/ohdearisshedead'>ohdearisshedead</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, I Blame Tumblr</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:07:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>354</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28595607</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohdearisshedead/pseuds/ohdearisshedead</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s a crackfic, what do you expect?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anakin Skywalker &amp; Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader &amp; Ahsoka Tano</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Tea and Biscuits</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I blame tumblr and Pinterest for this terrible fic.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The moment the temple shut with a loud thud, Vader stepped back from their saber lock.</p><p>“Hey, Snips! Now let’s catch up.” Using the Force to grab table, chairs, and utensils that she didn’t even notice was there, Vader turned off his lightsaber.</p><p>Ahsoka stumbled back, bracing her lightsabers in front of her in case he decided to attack. “Catch up?! I’m sorry, who’s the one who murdered a bunch of people and is wearing a goth hazmat suit right now?” This had to be a trick. There was no reason he would suddenly change like a flip was switched.</p><p>“Listen,” Vader began, pouring tea into two cups. “It was a very complex situation, Obi-Wan was being a jerk, I had to keep my wife a secret—”</p><p>
  <em>“What?”</em>
</p><p>“I married Padmé, then I got her pregnant, you see—”</p><p>“She was <em>pregnant?”</em></p><p>Vader pulled out a chair for Ahsoka, then sat down in his own. Reaching for a biscuit, he shrugged. Vader’s eye was still that sickly shade of yellow, but it no longer held that murderous rage that had been there a moment ago. “Yeah, anyways I lightly choked her—”</p><p>Shocked, she only took another step back, letting her lightsabers dip towards the ground.“You <em>choked Padmé?”</em></p><p>Glancing down at the biscuit, Vader looked suspiciously disappointed that he could not eat the biscuit through the mask.<em>“Lightly </em>choked her. And then Obi-Wan cut off my three favorite limbs, you know the ones that still had bones and stuff.”</p><p>“All of that still doesn’t justify killing a bunch of kids?”</p><p>Vader looked slightly annoyed, then glared at the biscuit now set down on the table. “No, he chopped them off <em>after </em>I killed the kids, try to keep up Ahsoka.”</p><p>Pieces of the walls were falling, and the core looked ready collapse on itself. </p><p>“So, Snips, you could come with me to my castle on Mustafar, and we could finish catching up there?” Vader finally offered, looking up at the crumbling ceiling.</p><p>Despite everything, her old master couldn’t be <em>that </em>insane. But as she sensed the seriousness in his words, she sighed. Perhaps he was. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I swear my other fanfics are better than this, it’s really badly done and rushed.</p><p>I’ll also be updating Abvolate in a day or two, I haven’t forgotten about that fanfic.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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